The Hotel Consul in Kiel
Dire.

OK, let's start out with the positive about this hotel as there are going to be a number of negatives.

Almost all of the light bulbs in my tiny room worked and most of the crockery on the breakfast bar was actually clean! They also have car parking facilities in an underground car park next to the hotel.

I arrived just after nine in the evening after a long day's work on a customer site. I checked in and asked where the restaurant was. They said that it was closed and suggested that I take a walk if I wanted some food! They explained that the restaurant closed each day at 21:00 and I was too late. Eventually, I prevailed upon them to rustle up some bread and cheese but this was only possible because I am stubborn and I asked.

On my second night, I made sure that I finished early and I arrived at the hotel just after eight. Almost an hour before they were due to close the restaurant. I was told that, on this day, they had decided to close the restaurant an hour early. The receptionist, a surly type who seemed ill suited to the job, responded to my astonishment with an insulting stream of sarcasm and then he grudgingly agreed to cook something but made sure that I felt that he was doing me a special favour and pointed out that it was going to take longer to prepare than normal.

Of course, this kind of shit is not what I want to deal with after a two long hard days away from home.

Finally, the hotel staff twigged that the company paying my bill was one of the largest purchasors of hotel rooms in the town and they then decided to be nice to me. If you are not so well placed, I guess that the rudeness and sarcasm will be all that you see of their customer interface.

That aside, what of the rest of the Hotel?

My room, which cost DeM135 a night was the smallest that I have ever encountered. I am a shade under six feet tall and I do not expect to have trouble fitting into a bed. I've paid forty marks a night for a much larger room in another German Hotel and for only twenty marks more, I have had a far larger room for two people in the centre of Frankfurt in the middle of that town's book fair.

After the size of the room, the most noticeable thing about it was the garish poster ad for the pay per view porno channel on the TV. I'm no prude but really something like this does not need to so "in your face."

The size of the bathroom can be gauged from the fact the it was not possible to bend down to wash my face in the basin unless I opened the door to the shower cubicle. Even then, doing so was a dangerous action. The cabinet above the basin was far too big for the small basin. Bending down to wash your face pretty well guaranteed a bumped head from the sharp corner at the bottom of the cabinet which jutted out over most of the basin.

Plumbing is important and I have stayed in cheap Russian tourist hotels which were better than this. The main problem was that the water was reluctant to drain away from the shower meaning that it was inevitable that I would finish my shower standing ankle deep in soapy water. The only way to remove all trace of soap from my legs was to turn the water off and shiver for five minutes while the water drained away before starting again.

All in all, the size of the room, poor plumbing, lack of facilities and the attitude of the receptionist mean that I will not visit this hotel again and I my only recommendation has to be that you avoid it.

Details
Hotel Consul
Walkerdamm 11, 24103 Kiel
Tel +49 431 535 37 0
Fax +49 431 535 37 70
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